remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
