Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
