That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
