Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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