So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
