My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
