are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
