You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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