Ambien. No doubt about it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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