My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
