I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
