these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
