You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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