i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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