But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I am mentally ready for anal.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
