i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
