Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I think I am morally bankrupt
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
