we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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