This girl is more easily done than said...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
