It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I want to fling myself into the sun
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
