i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
