dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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