I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
