i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
