I wanna passion pit in your ass
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
