The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
