Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
