All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
