There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
