And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
