Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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