Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
