yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
