i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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