You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
