Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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