just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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