in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
