I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
