We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
