She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
