So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
