Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
