By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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