I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
