I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
