We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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