so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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