My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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