He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize