Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
