what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
