We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
