that's an acceptable place to lick
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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