pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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