he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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