I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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