stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
