Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
