Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize