Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Two words: blizzard sex
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
