I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
