i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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