i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
