My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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