no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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